Posts tagged life lessons
When You Don't Get What You Want

I have a sweet tooth. I have always had a sweet tooth. And while I am very health conscious and don’t have sugar on a daily basis, there are times when I really need a cookie or cupcake and I make sure that I get the best I can find.

I was at a conference this past week. Being vegan, conferences are always entertaining (in a sad way). You barely get any food (salad and rice, anyone?) and dessert is almost always out of the question.

Throughout the day, people were grabbing cookies and small pastries and there was absolutely nothing for the vegans (aside from some dried out fruit). I really wanted a baked good and by the end of the day had a major craving. I decided that after the conference, I would stop by a shop that has these delicious vegan breakfast cookies. After the conference, I speed walked in excitement to the store. Much to my disappointment, they did not have the cookie I was looking for and the others were chocolate based, which I have never been much of a fan of.

I thought that perhaps the universe was sending me a “not today” sign. So I headed toward an evening appointment I had. On the way, there was a vegan bakery that usually only sells cupcakes and loaves. However, I noticed that they had put out a bunch of flower shaped, raspberry jam cookies. It wasn’t what I was craving, but I bought one just to satisfy my sweet tooth. I took a bite and was in utter delight – this was quite possibly the best vegan cookie I ever had! It was definitely better than the one I was searching for earlier.

I chuckled to myself and thought – how often do we so badly want something when in fact, the universe knows that there is something better for us? And we get upset and disappointed and loose our faith because unlike my cookie story, for the bigger things in life, “the better version” doesn’t arrive as quickly as we would like it to and it isn’t until it arrives that we realize the blessing.

I heard the saying once that “what is rightfully yours can never be withheld from you.” My cookie experience reminded me that when I don’t get what I want, instead of sulking, I should say “thank you”. 🙂

True Beauty to the Rescue: Addressing Your Imperfections

Many people’s sense of beauty is not defined by who they are on the inside but how they appear to others on the outside. This is a tendency of weak solar plexus and sacral chakras. We should feel good about ourselves without having to hear it from anyone else.

Standards of beauty are set by the media and entertainment industry. In succumbing to these standards, we can easily get caught up in being image conscious and losing sight of who we really are.

The truth is, we hardly ever see our own faces except for the little glimpse we get of ourselves in our mirrors. In other words, out of everyone, we see ourselves the least and I strongly believe we were made this way so we could work on our personal growth and development instead of obsessing over how we look.

Here are some tips to overcome what you may perceive to be your outer imperfections:

Embrace Your Natural Look
Maybe you have a feature you were born with that you don’t like – maybe it’s your nose, your forehead or your ears. Embrace your natural look and focus on who you are instead of how you look.

Clear Negativity from Marks & Scars
Who doesn’t hate the marks and scars on their bodies? I remember the first time my toenail got stubbed and blackened – I was so sad that I no longer had a “perfect” right foot. Then as life went on, more marks and scars appeared on my body and I hated each and every single one of them.

One day, my performing arts teacher told my class about an artist who created a video for her 18th birthday. In this video, she pointed to different marks and scars on her body, sharing the story or experience behind them and regarding them as representations of the fact that she had lived. In this manner, she altered what could be perceived as ugly to something worth celebrating. Wise thinking!

Sometimes your imperfections can be a reminder of experiences that caused you to hold negative emotions regarding yourself or others. For example, at the age of 19, I burned a small part on the back of my hand after carelessly reaching into a hot toaster oven. My aunt teased me, saying, “Awww poor girl – tried to cook for the first time?” Afterward, the scar became a reminder of my annoyance toward my aunt for her comment but over time, I realized that I was storing that negative emotion in my body and had to let it go. Instead, the scar now reminds me of how life is about making mistakes and learning your lessons (even if it’s as simple and commonsensical as wearing an oven mitt when you reach deep into a hot toaster oven!).

Transcend Outer “Imperfections” By Focusing on Your Inner Self
Focus on addressing your inner imperfections instead of your so-called outer imperfections. This means focusing on those aspects of yourself that need some work. It may be that you lose your temper easily or have a tendency to show off. Or maybe you have a hard time admitting when you’re wrong. None of us are perfect on the inside. However, while we all have our faults, what is important is to be aware of them and change them, all the while striving for progress, not perfection.

Most importantly, focus on who you are as a person instead of how you look. Strive to develop your gifts and talents to the fullest and use them in a way that will bring you and others joy. When you do this, true beauty will rescue you and you’ll find that those so-called outer imperfections that used to bug you will become nothing but meaningless. 🙂